Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Deviating from the norm

So I'm working on some personal growth. Primarily venturing out from the friendly and comfortable confines of Target. Alright, not really. I had to return a shirt for Papa Duck to Marshalls.

Anyway, while I was waiting at the cashier's station this woman behind me asks, "Excuse me, do you know how to get to..."

Now at this point I'm already saying (in my head of course), "Ummmm, no. I can't find my way out of a paper sack in this city and that odds that I can get you to anywhere from this store, which is NOT my "starting point" for any Yahoo! map I've ever run, are so slim that you'd have better luck playing the lottery."

"...Target?" she finishes.

My God! This woman must have sensed my deep and undying devotion for the Great Red Bullseye.

"Why yes, I do. You simply turn left..." and I'll spare you the rest of the details because unless you're planning a trip from Marshalls to Target in Madison anytime soon the directions will just clutter your brain.

Now, lookie what I bought at Marshalls.

Uh yeah. I'm just trying to blend in with the locals. Also I was drawn to the glitter (there's glitter on the big "G") and clearance price tag. But really, check me out. You won't be able to tell me from a real live Wisconsinite soon. Next thing you know I'll be saying things like "Uff da" and trying to cook sauerkraut and the like.

Also, I'd like to mention that I was VERY tempted to buy another shirt at Marshalls because I know that you won't believe this. It was a Chicago Bears turtleneck that was reduced to $1! Now, actually, this is pretty believable as I think they still lynch folks up here for wearing Bears and Vikings stuff, so who in their right mind would risk that just for the warmth of a cheap turtleneck? Priorities man.