Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Because nothing says "Lets have a Poonami!" like a white dress

Thankfully despite wearing a white dress (thanks Nap Queen!) we managed to keep a recent Poonami incident fairly uneventful. We also managed to not spray poo-poos across the room. I sent those pictures to Wally World this week to be printed (yes, I'm adding them to her scrapbook)...I'm sure someone somewhere is asking, "Why?"

Because it's funny and if I didn't I'd have to drink. A lot.

I'm going to attribute the minimal amount of actual poo incidents with Peanut to the bottle of formula she gets each night before bed. Kinda binds her up I think. That Boobie Juice just ain't got no substance to it (and it stains bright yellow too!!!).

mama, who enjoys a few extra hours of sleep each night after doping her baby up on formula (which in addition to binding her up also makes her sleep longer)

Monday, August 29, 2005

A few short words...

This week I found my feet. They're cool. Mommy says they're cute. I can't get them into my mouth yet, but I'm gonna try that soon.

Love, Peanut

Here I am protecting, I mean SHARING, my pushy toys with my Cousin Beefcake. I can't push them both at once, but I'll be danged if he's gonna get 'em.

Love, The Duckling

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Organizational Services for Your Messiest of Areas

Announcing The Duckling's Organization Co-Op!

Our services are all inclusive: we make the mess, we shift the mess around in an OCD manner for awhile and then we jam everything back into the cupboards. Just the way you like. Or not, really, we don't care so long as we get to play with your goods for awhile.

Our previous experience includes working with bottled drinks... well as canned and bagged goods.

We'll carefully study each colorful label and listen to the sound of the cans hit the tile floor with the best trained ears. Please contact us via Comments if you desire our rather unique and useful service.

mama & The Duckling

Monday, August 22, 2005

So innocent looking you'd hardly believe she was a raging alcoholic

"Milk," The Duckling said to me with pride in her eyes.
"Yes, the baby is drinking milk," I responded while nursing Peanut this afternoon. It's amazing how she's really picking up the language and drawing conclusions, I though proudly.

At dinner tonight night I wanted Papa Duck to see how far his daugher had come linguistically.
I asked The Duckling, "Honey, what does the baby drink?"
"Beeeeeah." (Toddler Translator: beer)

Hmmmm, if only I could indeed find a way to make these suckers produce beer...what a rich, rich woman I'd be.


Thursday, August 18, 2005

Welcome home, Daddy!

Dear Daddy,

We missed you lots while you were gone.
Peanut wore these really loud jammies to bed and couldn't sleep because she kept looking at herself.
I turned my sandbox into a caked of water and sand. I used lots of water. Lots.
Mommy slept in the middle of the bed...until Peanut had to join her because of the loud jammies.
Mostly we were really good though.
We're glad you're home.

The Duckling & Peanut

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Cuisine Fit for a Bear

We went to the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa on Monday.

As we got to the bear (a real live Cashew!!!) I said, "Look honey, the bear is eating carrots today!"

The Duckling, promptly responded with, "Dip!"

Because, of course, who in their right mind would eat carrots without dip?

Silly Mommy.


Monday, August 15, 2005

Proud Parenting Moment #18

"Oh yeah, while you guys were gone The Duckling pulled on my shirt and looked down and said, "Boobs!""
~ My Mother In Law


So. Very. Proud.


Friday, August 12, 2005

$50 for the lot

Sugar Daddy's batting a thousand today...

1. I'm in the bathroom this morning and The Duckling wanders up to me sipping her milk. Now, we ran out of milk yesterday. Oh yes, this was YESTERDAY'S WARM CUP OF SIPPY MILK that Papa Duck was supposed to have cleaned up after bath time last night. It smelled totally ripe.

2. I'm looking out the front window with The Duckling at the neighborhood "googies" (dogs) and what does my little eye spy on the ground!??! Dip, my friends. As in tobacco. As in the dip that he only uses during hunting season. In all fairness I knew he had this tin ("But hon, it's a new flavor, I had to try it"), but leaving a trail where The Duckling could pick it up and eat it?

3. He claimed there was a third issue that I might not find before he got home to rectify it. If I had to guess...given the toilet's performance upon flushing, I'm gonna guess he clogged it last night and forgot to plunge. I'm just guessing though.

In other news, The Duckling and Peanut went downtown to meet Papa Duck for lunch and both behaved beautifully. Peanut did have a little poo-poo episode, but not a full scale poonami which might have just gotten us kicked permanantly out of the only restaurant within walking distance from Papa Duck's work that plays Willie Nelson all the time.

Happy Friday all!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I'm gonna get me a cage, that's what I'm gonna do!

The Duckling went to bed last night at 7 PM and woke up at 8:45 this morning. Wow. I'd almost say it was worth it for her to not take a nap during the day for that kind of overnight sleep.

Nah. I still need that midday nap to keep from killing her after she's emptied all of the snack cabinet (and started to open each box of crackeys, cereal and other goodies), sucked on each and every sippy cup lid and brought every toy she owns and placed it on Peanut's playmat.

Being that we rent and there are no knobs on our cabinets, keeping a very nosey toddler out of them is a challenge. The magnetic locks are good, but we'd have to screw them into the cabinets and I think that's a Renter's No-No.

I'm considering purchasing a cage to assist in keeping her confined while I'm feeding Peanut.

Perhaps the local zoo can help me out. Or we could use Lucky's old metal play yard.

mama, who is still optimistic that today might be a better napping day (although it is only 10:15 AM)...give us time, my friends, give us time

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Way over the limit

If truck drivers can only drive for 14 hours until they're considered to be too tired to function properly, I am way over the limit. I need a break. Middle of the night swaddlings and feedings prohibit me from being "off-duty."

Tell me why it is that on the days when The Duckling only takes one nap she only sleeps for one hour.

I mean, really.

Some days if she naps at 10:30 AM she can go for two hours or so, but then there is no afternoon nap.

8:00 AM- wake-up
12:40 PM- put her down for a nap
1:40 PM- up and awake...tried to leave her in the crib until signs of going back to sleep

Why? Why, why, why?!?!?!?!

Thankfully the whole "put them to bed early so they sleep longer thing is working."

Her new bed-time is 7 PM and she now sleeps until 8 AM whereas when she used to have an 8 PM bed-time she was up with the freakin' birds at 6:30 AM.

What do the birdies say?
"Get up Duckling! Get up!!!!"

Nope, they sure don't say chirp, chirp, chirp in our yard.


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Fussy McFussbuckets Smiles Again

The Duckling, a/k/a Fussy Mcfussbuckets has this totally annoying habit of making the whiniest face whenever she sees the camera lately.

A perfect example of this can be seen in this self-portrait family photo we took a few weeks ago. Ain't she cute?

Yesterday I just started tossing soft foam blocks at her for pretty much no reason other than I need to let out a little aggression. She thought it was HILARIOUS. Being the genius that I am I though grabbed the camera and continued throwing and started snapping.

Just remind me that for her first day of school pictures, prom photos, weddings shots, and any other monumental occasion in her life I need to have those blocks on hand to chunk at her head to illicit her beautiful smile.

OMG! An actual real live genuine smile! The other thing she does now (when not whining and pushing you away with the camera) when you ask her to smile is gives you this cheesy smile with her eyes squeezed shut. Very attractive. Posted by Picasa

Check out the mid-air shots of these blocks (this one is just behind's black and white)! Posted by Picasa

Oh! The anticipation of the block hitting me! Bwwwwahahahahah! Teee heee! Posted by Picasa

Seriously, toddlers are their own little creatures (beasts?). Everyone makes a fuss over teenagers, but I think toddlers are just as much of a mystery.

mama duck

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Lookit my new trick!

Are you watching?

Here I go...

TAH-DAH!!! I can roll over all by my big self!!!!

Which leads Mama to her question of the day, "How big is Peanut?"
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo big.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

In the Continuing Adventures of Cashew Bear...

“Oh shit! Oh no!”


“Is everything alright up there? Are you OK?” I called to Papa Duck who was bathing The Duckling, my index finger on the “9” of the phone pad just ready to call emergency services. Did she slip? Is she underwater? For how many seconds?

“Umm, yeah we’re fine, but he’s not,” Papa answered as a blur went through my field of vision followed by a thud that resounded on the first floor.

Tossed from the baclony above, a very wet, very limp but very clean Cashew landed in the playroom.

Apparently in the seven seconds that it took for Papa Duck to turn around and put the diaper into the Diaper Champ, The Duckling had grabbed Cashew off of where he had been perched on the toilet, positioned him in her lap and began dumping water on his head to “wash his hair.”

Needless to say he was in need of a little more than a towel-drying.

Happy Friday all, enjoy the weekend!


Mama Duck

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

It's Time Again...Just Look at Them!!!!

Yup, every now and then I return to the Texas Ducks roots and have to just showcase how beautiful the children who sprung (more like were shoved out screaming and kicking!) from my loins are.

I'm a complete techno-doofus and can't get my pictures to line up nicely with the Blogger pics and I was too lazy to use Hello, so the captions and photos are a bit skewed...sorry. Think of it as a brainteaser....which text corresponds to which illustration? Update: On second thought, think of it as completely scrambled photos, I notice that NOTHING is lining up like it does in the "draft" phase.

Check out The Duckling who felt the need to lay out dolls on Peanut's playmat.

Look at those eyes! I swear, every time I look at her Big Blues I think, "Whose baby is this and are they going to want to steal her back?" I hope not!

(above) Here you'll see The Duckling. Her newest and most annoying thing is that she'll do something TOTALLY cute and then the second she sees the camera she turns into a whining mess. We have a BOATLOAD of pictures with this same sneer and arm reach. Can't wait to see her wedding pictures.

(right) This is Peanut while she's "sleeping." You'll notice she is indeed in her bassinet (woohoo...only one night so far!) but once she got wind that I was going to nap in her "old bed" she was all about wanting to know what I was doing. I swear, she's the happiest (and gassiest) baby in the world, just keep that Fart Medicine (a/k/a Mylicon) nearby!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Rainy Days and Mondays and Forgetting What You Love Always Gets Me Down

Back home we had this little dog that lived next door to us. His name was Apollo and The Duckling loved him with all of her being. The two of them would spend hours looking at each other through our sliding glass door. I used to slip him turkey lunch meat, leftover chicken and an occasional piece of grilled steak. He was the best pet ever because we could play with him all day long but our neighbors, his owners, had to foot the vet bill.

Anyway, I've feared that The Duckling doesn't recall many things about home, namely our house, the horses, chickens and now, Apollo.

I've asked her many time since we've moved, "What did Apollo say?"

Mainly I get these blank stares instead of the "Woof woof" that I would hope for.

Today I asked the same question.


"Apollo was a doggie, remember? What did he say?"


That's our universal sound for a car, microwave, coffee pot and oven.

Not a dog.

My heart aches that she doesn't remember feeding the horses and chickens. That she can't recall the house she was brought home to, and learned to crawl and walk in. I know most of us don't have memories as adults of being one-year old, but we've only been gone eight months.

Eight months is apparently an eternity to a 21 month-old.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Proud Parenting Moment #17

The first 16 Proud Parenting Moments of my daughters’ lives have been filled with milestones such as first smile, rolling over, and walking. There have also been some other intentional (The Duckling’s ability to con the guys at her uncle’s engagement party to walk her around and around the yard in her stroller) and unintentional (Peanut’s 108 inch poonami being shot across my bedroom).

Proud Parenting Moment #17 though is named with dripping sarcasm and explained with an equal amount of shame.

As we waited for the Notary to sign our documents pertaining to the sale of our home I took The Duckling to look at the mortgage promotional items on top of the tellers’ desks.

“What’s this?”

“Doggie. Woof woof.” The Duckling said smiling at the stuffed dalmation with a t-shirt
bearing the bank’s logo.

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to identify the Coca-Cola bottle (what kind of lame promo item is that? Do you get that if your mortgage is on a single-wide? Not that a stuffed dog is much better…), I asked her “What color is this?” while pointing to the famous red label.


In front of the tellers.

All this hard work to avoid sugary sweets yet she can name alcoholic beverages?

You didn’t really think that hard cider in the diaper bag was for me, did you?

That’s my girl. Little Boozer.