Stuff Portrait Friday: Boudoir Style

It's Stuff Portrait Friday again and this week is right up my alley. All about the bedroom! Since I'm a SAHM you know I'm either watching soaps eating bon-bons or I'm taking a nap. I'm certainly not doing housework, a fact that anyone who has visited me recently can attest to.

Thanks to Kristine we have a fantastic list of bedroom and sleep related shots. As always, comment, play and let us know you played so we can check out your goods!

Photo #1: Your bed: Well, it's not the whole bed, but this is Peanut and I sleeping in it...sort of. As you can see we went back to swaddling (two nights without was all I could stand and I can't stands no more!!!), but by morning she breaks free and I'm too damn tired to wrap her back up. You can almost see the sense of pride in her outstretched arms, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I broke free at last!!!"


Photo #2: Favorite Dresser: Alright, it's not really a dresser, but I love this amoire. If you ever come to visit you can bet that Papa Duck will try to sell it to you or worse, just give it to you. I picked this up at an English auction back in Houston awhile ago...$110 I think it was. Heck, even Target can't beat that for solid wood!


Photo #3: Favorite Jammies: Well, my favorite jammies are...well, umm, er, dad, stop reading...(whispers) my birthday suit. I simply don't know how people sleep with clothes on because whenever I try I get all twisted up in the bedsheets. I'm just not terribly good at it I guess. Anyway, this is my favorite lounge-around item. It's actually a dress from Victoria's Secret that I thought the movers had lost. I found it last week in a box on the back porch. All is good and right in the lounging world of Mama Duck again.

I'm not dead just very, very sleep deprived

The good news is that The Duckling apparently didn't have a virus, just ate a little something that didn't agree with her. I"m quite thankful for that as I have enough poop to deal with on a normal day without some nasty tummy-bug sending oodles of it my way just for "shits and giggles" (pardon the pun and rather colorful language).

Just a bit of a warning, I'm cranky/ornery/a crabass whatever you want to call it this week. My weight, my wardrobe, the color of our grass, whatever...I'm bitching about it.

We (I) decided that we probably need to put an end to the swaddling with Peanut now so it doesn't become a crutch for falling asleep. This is not going well. When she's not swaddled she's kicking, swatting her hands, twisting, writhing, turning...you name it...pretty much ANYTHING but lying still sleeping. All of this motion of course wakes her (and us) up. Then she wants her Pootie. She gets it in her mouth and starts swatting at it, thus flicking it out of her mouth. I stick it back in. Begin vicious cycle again.

Did I mention that we co-sleep? Yup. It was never really on my "Life Plan" to co-sleep, but it became apparent that this was they key to a good night's sleep when she was born. We've been "temporarily" co-sleeping for three of her three and a half months of life. It's fun. Anyway, most of the night I can hear Papa Duck say, "Grab a hand!" meaning...we each take one of Peanut's hands and hold them down so she can't flail around. Kind of like a personal baby straight jacket.

Positive things: It has been beautiful here this week (upper 70s, lower 80s); it rained...a lot; everyone is healthy

As for the photo...that would be an alcoholic beverage in our diaper bag...no well-stocked diaper bag is complete without one!!! :)

Improv Night at The Duck House

"Alright, I got it. 'Blogette'...is it a cheerleader for blogging or a gum to fight the blogging addiction?" Papa Duck says cracking himself up and almost unable to get out the would-be punchline.

"One more time honey. You're not funny, you're an accountant."



The Duckling begs for the bad stand-up to stop while Peanut's sense of humor isn't finely enough tuned to realize what a bad joke it was.

(Check out that crazy, wild, wacky hair on Peanut. I need some mousse or hairspray or gel or something)

She's Gonna Blow!

Holy damn.

I think we're revisiting the days of Amazing Grace, The Poop and The Puke. So far I've only got poop to report.

Am praying for no puke.

It started last night and we're down to water and peas.

God bless her little heart and heinie.

I heard that once you've had Roto Virus it shouldn't be as severe in the future.

I think I'm just going to have Peanut live in the car for the rest of the week. It's clean and germ-free.

Uff da!
(seeeee?!!??! I knew buying that Packers shirt was NOT a good idea!)

Weekend Update: Just for the Grandparents

Getting back to our roots for the day, here are scads of photos of my cute, adorable kids for the grandparents to ogle. We've had a busy and fun, yet rather unproductive weekend.

Our weekend started Thursday night since Papa Duck took work off on Friday. Here'e Peanut and me snuggling on the floor. She's such a sweet, well-tempered baby compared to her crabass of an older sister who was just a grump until about four months and even then (and now) she's kind of moody. Wonder where she gets that from, Daddy?


Friday we went to the Dane County Fair to check out the animals. Here are The Duckling and Papa Duck in front of a bovine with a rather unfortunate outlook for the future. I enjoy my filet mignon and chicken sandwiches just as much as the next red-blooded American, but I can't help but cry when I see these big cute cows and their pretty brown eyes and think about how they're gonna get whacked just so I can have my steak and eat it too.


To my cousin D: Say hello to the cute adorable little piggy that your place of employment purchased. I'm assuming there's an employee pig-roast? In the event that you can't see it, these little piggies are named "Duck" and "Chicken."


And the archangels sang! There at the Dane County Fair was Target!!!! These lovely ladies were kind enough to humor me and chat about my Target addiction for awhile. (shhhhhh) They even slipped us a bunch of Target logo goods including binoculars, a calculator and some writing utensils even though we didn't sign up for a Target Red Card (we have a card that feeds all the money I blow at Target directly into the girls' college fund...so really, when I'm shopping at The Big Red Bullseye, I'm funding their tuition, they can thank me later)


Saturday we enjoyed a fabulous meal over at Jennifer's place. Here are her son, Logan, and The Duckling hanging out. This was a photo that had to be shot VERY quickly.


Here are Peanut and Miles chillin' on the floor. LOOK AT HIS THIGHS! I LOVE 'em!! He's such a cutie-pa-tootie!!

Stuff Portrait Friday: Someone's in the kitchen with Mama

Tah-dah! I made it to another Friday and seem to have most of my sanity left. And that my friends, is all I can hope for these days.

Being it's Friday and all, that means it's time for Stuff Portrait Friday which, as always, is brought to us by that California Cutie, Kristine. Check out my stuff, let me know if you played, you should play and you should stop by Kristine's. Yadda yadda yadda.

Photo #1: Favorite Appliance: Seeing as I don't live in my beautiful homestead in Austin anymore this is the best picture I have on hand to show my totally awesome top-loading fridge. If you don't have one of these go get one. Now. It's great b/c the fridge is on top and you don't have to break your back everytime you need the baby carrots or have to see where the leftover beef stew has gotten off to. BTW, the fridge is over on the far right-hand side of the picture. I miss my house.


Photo #2: A food that you always have in your kitchen: Yup...Oreos. The fifth food group. The bottom of the food pyramid. A must have. Coincidentally, I included my favorite appliance in our current house too...the dishwasher. I hate washing dishes.


Photo #3: Your meal speciality: As most of you know I've been making a really good effort to learn to cook since January. Those freakin' cookies aside, all things are going well. My signature dishes would have to be spinach lasagne or spaghetti pie, but I wasn't making those this week so here we have Parmesean Crusted Chicken with Vegetable Angel Hair Pasta. It was my first time making both of them and they were darn good if I may pat myself on the back.

Deviating from the norm

So I'm working on some personal growth. Primarily venturing out from the friendly and comfortable confines of Target. Alright, not really. I had to return a shirt for Papa Duck to Marshalls.

Anyway, while I was waiting at the cashier's station this woman behind me asks, "Excuse me, do you know how to get to..."

Now at this point I'm already saying (in my head of course), "Ummmm, no. I can't find my way out of a paper sack in this city and that odds that I can get you to anywhere from this store, which is NOT my "starting point" for any Yahoo! map I've ever run, are so slim that you'd have better luck playing the lottery."

"...Target?" she finishes.

My God! This woman must have sensed my deep and undying devotion for the Great Red Bullseye.

"Why yes, I do. You simply turn left..." and I'll spare you the rest of the details because unless you're planning a trip from Marshalls to Target in Madison anytime soon the directions will just clutter your brain.

Now, lookie what I bought at Marshalls.

Uh yeah. I'm just trying to blend in with the locals. Also I was drawn to the glitter (there's glitter on the big "G") and clearance price tag. But really, check me out. You won't be able to tell me from a real live Wisconsinite soon. Next thing you know I'll be saying things like "Uff da" and trying to cook sauerkraut and the like.

Also, I'd like to mention that I was VERY tempted to buy another shirt at Marshalls because I know that you won't believe this. It was a Chicago Bears turtleneck that was reduced to $1! Now, actually, this is pretty believable as I think they still lynch folks up here for wearing Bears and Vikings stuff, so who in their right mind would risk that just for the warmth of a cheap turtleneck? Priorities man.

White Trash Day at the Country Club

Presumably because they got tired of us lowly commoners sticking our noses through the fence and asking, "Can we play? Huh? Can we?" the country club in our neighborhood allows us thugs to come play in their pool on Sunday mornings and Tuesday afternoons. Immediately after we leave they drain, disinfect, repaint and then refill the pool with clear, blueblood-type water.

Anyway we took a walk to the pool last night to give The Duckling a bit of a look at how the other half live. As we were walking up the hill in the parking lot (me wearing my infamous "Where the Wild Things Are" Make Mischief shirt we passed a club member who was no doubetdly slapping her sweating brow and declaring, "Oh my God! This place has gone to the heathens!!"

In a move I will very likely end up regretting I'm posting some shots of us in the pool. Yup, that's fair warning that there's bikini shots here. The bathing suit I bought for my backyard made it's public appearance last night and damn was it scary.

Enjoy and please don't laugh so much as you're making me feel bad.

Wait, no, you're not, but still, it's not nice.

One silent burrito to go please.

So, I'm wondering how much longer this whole swaddling thing will work.

Peanut's three months old and starting to get a bit strong and able to push her way out of the blanket quite easily. Perhaps duct taping her arms down is the next step? When we leave her hands free she flails about like madman in an imaginary swarm of bees. Not conducive to sleeping at all.

I know a lot of people say, "Oh my baby wouldn't put up with swaddling the minute we left the hospital." Persistence, the right blanket and a tight wrap, my friends. Once they get used to it, it's all they know and they feel all snuggly and drift right off. The nurses up here showed up a great method to wrap and it's been fantastic!

I'm afraid this trick won't work for much longer though.

(sighing and frantically searching for duct tape)

Eat my shorts, Pottery Barn!!!!

If you’ve been reading this site for any amount of time you have certainly gotten a pretty clear picture that I am cheap frugal. I have an allowance (and yes, thank you very much, I do my chores and am a good little girl around the house) and have to stretch it as far as it will go. A lot like a rubber band or my patience by Friday afternoons.

This would not be a problem if I didn’t have such darned good taste. I can go anywhere and know NOTHING about the items I’m looking at and chose the most expensive selection. Windows, screws, drill bits, shoes, you name it. I’m just that good. Sugar Daddy is probably just THRILLED that we’re going to get to build a house together…

Well, over the past 21 months of The Duckling’s life (as well as the three years of Lucky’s life with Papa Duck) our ottoman has come to look like something that has been abused by a greasy-fingered-drooling toddler and a naughty whizzing rabbit. I’ve cleaned it, scrubbed it, you name it, but it looks pretty bad.

So I looked to Pottery Barn for a slipcover to make it look fresh again. Those thieving bastards wanted $250 JUST for the slipcover. Granted it’s a very nice slipcover, but no way.

I couldn’t bring myself to waste that kind of money on denim, thread and piping cord.

So I made one.

It’s not perfect, but for the $20 I spent to make it I’ll take that it’s not a tailored fit. And to those people (who are very nice at the 1-800 line) at Pottery Barn, I say, “Eat my shorts!!!!!”

Stuff Portrait Friday: Flashback Friday...1980s

Oh lovely. We all survive the '80s and then Kristine and VH1 think we need to relive it. Fine.

For those of you who are just joining us or who have just crawled out from under some rather large rock, here's the story. Kristine thinks up a scavanger hunt of sorts and as faithful cult members we run around chanting while trying to complete our task (taking the requested photos and posting them). This week was an '80s theme.

Photo 1: A picture of you (me) in the '80s: Be jealous, be very jealous. You could only wish to have such a big 'fro on your head. Perms and me...not a good mix. This is my mother's cat, Thumper, who HATED me. With good reason as I make him get his picture taken whilst nearly choking the poor dear. Additionally I'm all stylish in my Outback Red skirt and Forenza shirt and all he gets to wear is the same coat he wears everyday.


Photo 2: Something from the '80s that you can't get rid of: It's not so much that I CAN'T get rid of it, I just haven't. And now that The Duckling has taken over ownership he is sure to hang around our house for many years to come. Remember how our parents stood in line for DAYS to get these things for us? The least I can do is hold onto it until his little plastic face disintigrates.



Photo 3: A CD or movie from the '80s: A few words...I think Tom Cruise is an a$$hole as of late, but I still like the volleyball scene. "You'll shoot your eye out kid!" and who didn't want to be just like Molly Ringwald and apply their lipstick with their cleavage?



There. Let us never speak of this decade again unless it's in therapy.

To the rather loud voice interrupting my meal...

As I was playing Human Milk Factory to Peanut last night, Papa Duck and I started a conversation. Suddenly her little lips quivered, forehead wrinkled and a loud cry came forth from my tiny Peanut.

She seemed to be saying, "Why oh why does that damn head that's attached to my boob insist on ruining my pleasurable dining experiences?"

I honestly think that this is how she sees me.

A great big boob with a head and arms. I'm not even sure that she's aware that I have legs as they really don't provide any sort of up-front gratification for her.

"I'm just a boob, yes, I'm only a boob and I'm meant to be a fee-e-ding tube..." (you can sing this to the tune of "I'm Just a Bill" from Schoolhouse Rock)

"Big enough for a queen but made for a king..."

Ummmmm, can you put a king-sized comforter on a queen-sized bed without it looking totally moronic?

The down comforter I bought yesterday was a full/queen. I'm not sure how you can make anything to fit both because I've slept on each of them and they're nowhere near the same size. Hence, when I put the comforter on to check it out...not a whole lot of hangover (I think that's the term...you know what I mean, material that hangs over...not puke) on the sides.

Anyway, I think I'm going to exchange it for a king since they're the same price.

Papa Duck has a habit of grabbing a wad of blanket and tucking it between his knees as he sleeps. He doesn't like for his sweaty knees to touch each other. This little oddity prevents me from yanking the amount of blanket I need to keep warm. You can see how this might be a problem. We had a quilt like this before, made for a full/queen, and there was a constant tug-of-war going on in bed.

Thoughts?

Monday on Film: Busy

Well, it's late in the day on Monday. We had a full day and I was feeling energetic and motivated to get some stuff done. Here's what we've been up to.


We started off the day with a walk before it got too hot. It was a great 25 minutes of pure exercise where I could feel the fat on my thighs rubbing together while it was melting away from the physical exertion and outdoor heat.


Peanut was in a really good mood when we came home and smiled and The Duckling and I a lot. I guess it was her way of saying she forgave me for eating all the spices and bad stuff I did this weekend that has given her the worst case of gas I've ever heard. And for the record, I've heard some pretty impressive farts in my time.


After nap time we went swimming in our splashy pool. Alright, we didn't. This picture was from this weekend, but that motherly pride thing that all Mommies have made me post this. Good lord! Look at her! Toooooooo cute in her little duckie swimsuit lounging in the sun with her drinkie-poo. A girl after her mommy's heart.


In the afternoon we had to run to the doctor's to check out some spots on The Duckling's leg. No one told me that they narrowed the left turn lanes down to a single lane. We left the house on time, even with time to spare...but we were still late.

I've come to the sad conclusion that I will have to wait another two years for my king-sized bed. Based on my calculations with our financial obligations (read: building a house) I will be sleeping in my queen for a bit longer. Therefore I felt the need to ease my pain by indulging in a down comforter from Linens and Things this afternoon (reg. $50, sale $30 + 20% off coupon= $24). I also got some wicked awesome thongs (not THAT kind and not the kind you wear on your feet...come to think of it, I think they're spelled "tongs" but I like "thongs" better) for good measure on my Retail Therapy trip.

Stuff Portrait Friday: Some things to look at and one to piss me off

It's that time of the week again. Kristine had some interesting selections this week! Go check her site out and tell her I sent ya! You should play along if you aren't already. It's really quite fun and besides, what else have you got to do today? It's Friday for crying out loud. It's not like you're REALLY working anyway.

Photo No.1: Favorite framed picture Honeymoon. On a boat. Somewhere near Mexico. No kids. Well, not entirely true. There was a "stow away" that we didn't know about. It's a self-portrait (as are most of our pictures). What a fabulous vacation. We had just come from climbing Mayan ruins and we were about to go get drunk on cerveza (yeah, yeah...it only takes me one...) and eat some nachos in Cozumel.

Seems like a lifetime ago.


Photo No. 2: Magazine subcriptions Yup, there's six of 'em. Some intellectual, some smut. Mostly not read. I had this wild hare that once I became the Human Milk Factory again I would have all this time to read while I was nursing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Someone I know was smoking crack when she thought she's have MORE free-time with two kids.


Photo No. 3: Household Pet Peeve If I don't unlock the four locks on the highchair's casters seventeen times a day, it simply hasn't been a day. The Duckling LOVES to hear the click when she locks them. I hate hearing the screaching as I drag the locked wheels across the tile.